mai bpen rai

In 19 days I am boarding a plane for Thailand.

Wuh.

I'm seeing Suporn. I chose him because of his excellent results and general affordability. No, he's not that cheap, but he's cheaper than anyone in the United States.

As an added bonus, he's not slavishly devoted to the outdated HBIGDA standards of care. I ran into this issue head-on with my therapist last month. Despite the fact that I have been transitioned for over two years- employed and with support networks and all that jazz- my gatekeeper (I think that is a perfectly fine characterization of her position) refused to write me a 2nd letter for SRS. Instead of helping me out- she knew me better than anyone- she wanted to get a second opinion. And when I let her know that this was stressing me out, she pretty much put the brakes on. Casually telling me that waiting a little longer wouldn't be the end of the world. I had to, again, defend and rationalize wanting SRS.

The fact that I'm already transitioned (isn't that the big step?) never crossed her mind. The fact that I'm 24 and would like to have a sex life at some point never crossed her mind. The fact that being a pre-op transsexual is dangerous and stressful never crossed her mind. The possibility that I might be able to make my own decision on the issue never crossed her mind.

If I had been seeing a North American doctor, I would have been screwed. (I don't have health insurance. Seeing someone else wasn't really an option.) Luckily, Suporn has reasonable safeguards for this situation. I am going.

I agree with Julia Serano that these gatekeepers are in place to protect cissexuals. They would rather turn away a hundred transsexuals than let one fool slip through. Why we can have no self-determination on the issue is beyond me.

...This post was supposed to be about Thailand, not a rant about gatekeepers. Oh well.

Well, I leave on the 17th. It's a long flight, and then there will be pain and morphine. I'm not looking forward to it. I just want to get it over with.

I will do a proper "Chonburi Diary" here, for the hell of it.